Where's My Baby?

We had a small birthday party for Gusi today. Some of his little friends from our play groups stopped by as well as some other friends and family. It was lots of fun and Gusi especially enjoyed having chocolate cake, pizza and tortilla chips. Plus he got to open up lots of presents and tear lots of wrapping paper.

The only thing though is that I now have a toddler and not an infant. I miss my baby boy though I love and adore my toddler son. He is walking on his own now, he is eating chocolate cake, he is signing what he wants, he is a joy to have and yet I can't help but miss my baby boy.

The five things I miss the most about my infant son:

1. Kissing his bald head. Gusi was born with a monk-type hairdo; a bit of hair around the edges but nothing on top. I kissed the top of his bald head so many times while he slept and while he was awake but now when I kiss it I get all this hair in between me and his skin.

2. Having him sleep in my arms. He still does this but now I see this long body trying to fit in the rocker with me. I miss having that tiny baby who nuzzled into me so easily.

3. Having his scent on me. I would carry him around so much that I could smell him on me when I set him down. Now he's so big, so mobile, starting to find his own way in life and my shirts smell only of my perfume.

4. Changing him on the changing table without any fuss. He would sit still while I changed his diaper--the most exciting it ever got was when he would make it *rain* indoors. Now he screams, he twists, he turns--he hates it and would rather go naked and diaper-less, thank you very much.

5. Being able to put hats and sun glasses on him. Last summer he was just the right size that I could strap hats and glasses onto him and he couldn't do anything about it (he looked adorable). Now he rips them off immediately.

Alas, he is growing up and I look forward to it even if I do feel a bit nostalgic. He's communicating, he's exploring, he's walking, he's thriving and I do take pride in his accomplishments which I see as small steps toward greatness.