There's a nursery rhyme that goes:
Alice the camel has three humps,
Bumpity, bump, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has three humps,
Bumpity, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has two humps,
Bumpity, bump, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has two humps,
Bumpity, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has one hump,
Bumpity, bump, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has one hump,
Bumpity, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has no humps,
Bumpity, bump, bumpity, bump.
Alice the camel has no humps,
Alice is a horse.
There are lots of humps and bumps right now. I'm feeling pretty crummy that Gusi is going through such a hard time. Some days are better than others, but generally speaking, the sleeping is not going so well. And the toilet training is out the door. Very early this morning he woke up screaming for his father, tears streaming down his face. It took a while to calm him down; snuggling in bed in between his grandmother and I seemed to help.
Papi comes at the end of July. These will be long weeks ahead. I just pray that I don't go into labor before he gets here. A friend from Dakar was on her way to the hospital in Vermont as her husband's plane was landing at JFK airport. He made it to the hospital four hours after their child was born. Her mom took care of her older two and she delivered alone. Yikes. I just hope Gusi's brother isn't quite so anxious to get into this world...
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Regression
It didn't go well yesterday nor last night. When I picked Gusi up from preschool his eyes were swollen and red: he had been crying most of the morning and his voice was hoarse from all the crying. He didn't want to participate in anything, just be held by his teachers all morning long. My heart broke as they brought him out to me, though he lit up upon seeing me.
Nap time was difficult yesterday as was bed time. He woke up once during his nap and only went back to sleep after I crawled in bed with him (no easy task in his twin bed and my huge belly). Then last night he woke up three times, and at the 5am waking, he wanted to get into bed with me in my room, but he refused to sleep. I am exhausted from all of this.
This morning we went to drop off my mom at work, headed over to a coffee shop so I could get a chai latte (with soy, yum) to have a bit of caffeine in my system (but not too much) and headed over to the park. As is usual at most playgrounds, the kids were accompanied by their nannies, the majority of which were Latina. When they heard me speaking to Gusi in Spanish they struck up a conversation.
Nanny #1: How old is he?
Me: He's two.
Nanny #2: How cute. How long have you been taking care of him?
Me: Since the day he was born; he's mine.
Nanny #1: Really? Wow, because he just looks so white, I thought he was just really smart in picking up Spanish from his nanny.
Me: No, he's mine. He's Latino as well as white. We come in lots of colors, right?
Nanny #2: We sure do.
Me: Actually, Gusi speaks Spanish as his first language and then French. It's English that he is trying to pick up.
Nanny #1: Oh, he'll get it, they all do, especially if he's in school.
Me: Yeah, well, he's in school, but he's just started so he's having a hard time.
Nanny #1: It will get better. I just started leaving my two-year-old son in preschool too and he's going through a rough time as well, but I have to work. It breaks my heart to drop him off so early in order to be here to take care of the twins. Imagine, leaving your own child to take care of a stranger's.
Me: No, I can't imagine what you're going through, not at all. (I am a lucky woman after all.)
He's napping right now. I hope he naps well. I want to do what I can to get him over this hump. But just how many humps does this camel have?
Nap time was difficult yesterday as was bed time. He woke up once during his nap and only went back to sleep after I crawled in bed with him (no easy task in his twin bed and my huge belly). Then last night he woke up three times, and at the 5am waking, he wanted to get into bed with me in my room, but he refused to sleep. I am exhausted from all of this.
This morning we went to drop off my mom at work, headed over to a coffee shop so I could get a chai latte (with soy, yum) to have a bit of caffeine in my system (but not too much) and headed over to the park. As is usual at most playgrounds, the kids were accompanied by their nannies, the majority of which were Latina. When they heard me speaking to Gusi in Spanish they struck up a conversation.
Nanny #1: How old is he?
Me: He's two.
Nanny #2: How cute. How long have you been taking care of him?
Me: Since the day he was born; he's mine.
Nanny #1: Really? Wow, because he just looks so white, I thought he was just really smart in picking up Spanish from his nanny.
Me: No, he's mine. He's Latino as well as white. We come in lots of colors, right?
Nanny #2: We sure do.
Me: Actually, Gusi speaks Spanish as his first language and then French. It's English that he is trying to pick up.
Nanny #1: Oh, he'll get it, they all do, especially if he's in school.
Me: Yeah, well, he's in school, but he's just started so he's having a hard time.
Nanny #1: It will get better. I just started leaving my two-year-old son in preschool too and he's going through a rough time as well, but I have to work. It breaks my heart to drop him off so early in order to be here to take care of the twins. Imagine, leaving your own child to take care of a stranger's.
Me: No, I can't imagine what you're going through, not at all. (I am a lucky woman after all.)
He's napping right now. I hope he naps well. I want to do what I can to get him over this hump. But just how many humps does this camel have?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A Day Later
It was easier today. I'll admit it. Gusi slept really well last night and while I hold my nose at his regression in toilet training, I remind myself that he is improving each and every day.
I dropped him off at preschool and spent some time with him as the children walked onto the playground. I gave him a kiss, two actually, and then said that I'd be back later. He played quite well. I walked to the reception area and made sure he was signed up for soccer class. My son, in soccer class. I can't believe it. He's just growing up right before my eyes. I thank God and my husband for giving me the opportunity to see all of these special moments up close.
Yesterday after all the tears Gusi got a Thomas-the-train Echo Tunnel. The most expensive Thomas-the-train toy the toy store had. Guilt? Yes, definitely, but magically washed away when I saw his face light up while pushing the echo buttons on the tunnel. Today I've gotten him a puzzle which I hope he enjoys. But today, I also went to have a chai latte (with soy milk, yum) and read a magazine after I dropped him off. Then I got a pedicure. It was relaxing and took my mind off of the somewhat lost little boy on the playground that I left just a short while ago.
I'm starting to remember that list of 1,001 things and hope to get to three of them today. This won't be so bad after all. I just hope Gusi's day is going better as well.
I dropped him off at preschool and spent some time with him as the children walked onto the playground. I gave him a kiss, two actually, and then said that I'd be back later. He played quite well. I walked to the reception area and made sure he was signed up for soccer class. My son, in soccer class. I can't believe it. He's just growing up right before my eyes. I thank God and my husband for giving me the opportunity to see all of these special moments up close.
Yesterday after all the tears Gusi got a Thomas-the-train Echo Tunnel. The most expensive Thomas-the-train toy the toy store had. Guilt? Yes, definitely, but magically washed away when I saw his face light up while pushing the echo buttons on the tunnel. Today I've gotten him a puzzle which I hope he enjoys. But today, I also went to have a chai latte (with soy milk, yum) and read a magazine after I dropped him off. Then I got a pedicure. It was relaxing and took my mind off of the somewhat lost little boy on the playground that I left just a short while ago.
I'm starting to remember that list of 1,001 things and hope to get to three of them today. This won't be so bad after all. I just hope Gusi's day is going better as well.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
His Big, Wide World
Gusi has been a trooper. I haven't been so religious about keeping up with the blogging lately, but in my defense it has a lot to do with being a temporary single parent.
We flew "home" to the US two and a half weeks ago. Gusi actually did really well, though he didn't sleep as much as I had hoped on the plane. He's had some difficulties adjusting to the many changes that have been thrown at him, but he seems to be finding his rhythm now. It can't be easy to be two years old, switch continents, languages, friends, leave your father behind and start all over in a new place, even if it is an old place since you can't remember it. Sure he was born here and lived here for a year and a half before leaving for Senegal, but Dakar is his home, it's what he knows best. He asks about his friends, our gardener, our housekeeper and tells me how he's going to ride his tricycle down to the Plateau (the city centre of Dakar). This country, his birthplace, is the foreign one now.
So, now that's he's been on a number of flights and passed through security check points and adapted and re-adapted to life's many curve balls, he's now starting yet another new chapter: preschool. We had been preparing him for months about this: as soon as he got to the US, he'd go to school to play and learn. He was excited and for a while there, he'd even go to the potty since he wanted to be a big kid who went to school. (Unfortunately, the move back to the US has been too much and the potty training has been side lined for now.)
Today, this morning, just over an hour ago, Gusi started his first day of preschool. I thought it would all go smoothly since he'd been so excited about it for so long. When we went to visit the school he shooed me away and cried when we left--but that was just for half an hour while I talked to the director. Today, he was holding on to my dress, my legs, wanting to be held. When the teachers took the kids out onto the playground, he cautiously went along. He was excited to see the bicycles and jungle gym, but didn't want me out of his sight. I managed to slip away. I thought I'd talk to the assistant to finalize all his paperwork, but she wasn't in yet. I could wait 40 minutes in agonizing pain or leave and come back early to talk to her. I tried to leave, but I was frozen. I wanted to see how Gusi was doing. They told me I could watch on one of the security cameras, but I couldn't find him. I went back to the playground, caught the eye of one of the teachers. I shrugged my shoulders and gave a thumbs up and thumbs down to ask her from afar how things were going. She put out her hand and moved it left and right: so-so. I wanted to cry. I looked closer and Gusi was right at her pant leg. He carefully moved away and climbed up the jungle gym to see what was going on. One of the teachers came over and told me that he had started crying and when she went to pick him up he swatted at her. He got a time out for that but calmed down quickly. He was now adjusting to his new environment. The teacher told me that it was his first day and that eventually he would get used to it, not to worry. I thanked her and walked out.
As I climbed into the car the tears started welling in my eyes. Even though I've been thinking about the 1,001 things that I need to get done while Gusi's in school, I couldn't think of one that I could do at that very moment. I called my husband who's out in the middle of nowhere in Senegal on business. His voice calmed me down enough to start the car and drive back to our apartment.
The house is empty. The blinds in my room still open from where Gusi was playing there earlier. My son is growing up. Others will start to have an influence on his life, something I will have limited control over. I will soon have another baby which will consume all the spare time I have. How will Gusi react? How will his brother fare? How will I manage? Our life here isn't permanent and our real life awaits us in Dakar in three months' time. What then? Gusi's life is changing and so is mine. Can we successfully adapt and manage?
Time is passing and it is most evident by monumental changes like starting preschool. I'll be fine. I'll leave in a little while to pick up a special toy for him to celebrate his first day of school. That's about all I can think of right now. Oh, and maybe we'll spend the afternoon at the pool today. Some quality time will do us both good. In the meantime I'll try to write down a list of those 1,001 things so I'm not caught like a dear in headlights tomorrow morning. Tomorrow, when he goes back to preschool. Again.
We flew "home" to the US two and a half weeks ago. Gusi actually did really well, though he didn't sleep as much as I had hoped on the plane. He's had some difficulties adjusting to the many changes that have been thrown at him, but he seems to be finding his rhythm now. It can't be easy to be two years old, switch continents, languages, friends, leave your father behind and start all over in a new place, even if it is an old place since you can't remember it. Sure he was born here and lived here for a year and a half before leaving for Senegal, but Dakar is his home, it's what he knows best. He asks about his friends, our gardener, our housekeeper and tells me how he's going to ride his tricycle down to the Plateau (the city centre of Dakar). This country, his birthplace, is the foreign one now.
So, now that's he's been on a number of flights and passed through security check points and adapted and re-adapted to life's many curve balls, he's now starting yet another new chapter: preschool. We had been preparing him for months about this: as soon as he got to the US, he'd go to school to play and learn. He was excited and for a while there, he'd even go to the potty since he wanted to be a big kid who went to school. (Unfortunately, the move back to the US has been too much and the potty training has been side lined for now.)
Today, this morning, just over an hour ago, Gusi started his first day of preschool. I thought it would all go smoothly since he'd been so excited about it for so long. When we went to visit the school he shooed me away and cried when we left--but that was just for half an hour while I talked to the director. Today, he was holding on to my dress, my legs, wanting to be held. When the teachers took the kids out onto the playground, he cautiously went along. He was excited to see the bicycles and jungle gym, but didn't want me out of his sight. I managed to slip away. I thought I'd talk to the assistant to finalize all his paperwork, but she wasn't in yet. I could wait 40 minutes in agonizing pain or leave and come back early to talk to her. I tried to leave, but I was frozen. I wanted to see how Gusi was doing. They told me I could watch on one of the security cameras, but I couldn't find him. I went back to the playground, caught the eye of one of the teachers. I shrugged my shoulders and gave a thumbs up and thumbs down to ask her from afar how things were going. She put out her hand and moved it left and right: so-so. I wanted to cry. I looked closer and Gusi was right at her pant leg. He carefully moved away and climbed up the jungle gym to see what was going on. One of the teachers came over and told me that he had started crying and when she went to pick him up he swatted at her. He got a time out for that but calmed down quickly. He was now adjusting to his new environment. The teacher told me that it was his first day and that eventually he would get used to it, not to worry. I thanked her and walked out.
As I climbed into the car the tears started welling in my eyes. Even though I've been thinking about the 1,001 things that I need to get done while Gusi's in school, I couldn't think of one that I could do at that very moment. I called my husband who's out in the middle of nowhere in Senegal on business. His voice calmed me down enough to start the car and drive back to our apartment.
The house is empty. The blinds in my room still open from where Gusi was playing there earlier. My son is growing up. Others will start to have an influence on his life, something I will have limited control over. I will soon have another baby which will consume all the spare time I have. How will Gusi react? How will his brother fare? How will I manage? Our life here isn't permanent and our real life awaits us in Dakar in three months' time. What then? Gusi's life is changing and so is mine. Can we successfully adapt and manage?
Time is passing and it is most evident by monumental changes like starting preschool. I'll be fine. I'll leave in a little while to pick up a special toy for him to celebrate his first day of school. That's about all I can think of right now. Oh, and maybe we'll spend the afternoon at the pool today. Some quality time will do us both good. In the meantime I'll try to write down a list of those 1,001 things so I'm not caught like a dear in headlights tomorrow morning. Tomorrow, when he goes back to preschool. Again.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
African Showers
This past weekend, our friends threw us a baby shower. They were not only quite generous with their time in preparing a wonderful get together, but they included a Senegalese flair to the entire event.
Sure they had the typical crudites and appetizers that one has for a party, but since I had requested one of my favorite dishes, theibou-djaga, the main course was totally Senegalese. Thiebou-djien and theibou-djaga are both rice and fish dishes and for many at the party it was the first time they had tried it. Incredible since all of them have been here longer than we have!
The best part was the music. Our friends throwing the shower had gotten a traditional African music group to come perform. Gusi, Papi and I loved it. What a great send-off. This little one was "made in Africa", loves his thieb (via my taste buds) and moved to the beat of the djembe drums that were beating that day. All four of us had a great time at the shower.
I told our friends that this was better than Gusi's shower because it was a uniquely flavored family event. The music, the food, the friends, the families all getting together to celebrate us was quite special. I will be happy to return to Dakar after the birth knowing that I am coming home to such a loving group of people.
Sure they had the typical crudites and appetizers that one has for a party, but since I had requested one of my favorite dishes, theibou-djaga, the main course was totally Senegalese. Thiebou-djien and theibou-djaga are both rice and fish dishes and for many at the party it was the first time they had tried it. Incredible since all of them have been here longer than we have!
The best part was the music. Our friends throwing the shower had gotten a traditional African music group to come perform. Gusi, Papi and I loved it. What a great send-off. This little one was "made in Africa", loves his thieb (via my taste buds) and moved to the beat of the djembe drums that were beating that day. All four of us had a great time at the shower.
I told our friends that this was better than Gusi's shower because it was a uniquely flavored family event. The music, the food, the friends, the families all getting together to celebrate us was quite special. I will be happy to return to Dakar after the birth knowing that I am coming home to such a loving group of people.
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