20/20

I never thought my formal education would mean so many mani/pedis. Or rather, I thought that the mani/pedis would be for me, not me doing them to someone else. Now that someone else has become two other someone elses.

Between yesterday and today I've done 20 toes and 20 fingers. It has not been easy. I've needed to negotiate with Gusi--just the toes today Mami, later we'll do the fingers. And with the baby I've just had to wrestle him into submission which he hates just as much as I do. At least they can't scratch me very hard if they decide to turn on me.

I'm good for about 48 hours before the process begins again. Lucky me.

End of the Season

Two of Gusi's classmates have already left Dakar. Their parents' jobs brought them here and have now taken them away. And most of his classmates are leaving Dakar before the end of the summer. It will be the last time he sees most of these children. It will be the last time I see most of their parents who have come to be my friends as well. It feels weird, like the day after Christmas when you wonder "now what?"

I Kid You Not

The baby is starting to walk. Yes. Walk. Already. He's nine months old. He's taking 6 to 7 steps. He can stand up for 10 seconds at a time by himself without support. I wasn't prepared for this. At all. At all.

It's Starting to Boil

The weather is getting hot again. I'm just glad I'm not pregnant at this go around. Luckily, we'll be going to the US in about a month for two months where people will complain about the heat and I'll count my lucky stars that every place you go into is air conditioned.

I look forward to being able to take the kids out and about and not have to worry if there will be a bathroom, changing table or high chair around. I'll be able to take my kids to parks, museums, the zoo, and so many other places that I used to take for granted.

It's not that I don't like it here in Senegal. I do. But I need a break. A break from negotiating every little detail--like how my tailor (normally very reliable) wants to jack up my prices and make me pay for his cab fare even though I'm almost certain he took the public transport to get to my house. Dealing with all the minutia of life here is boring and tedious, but it is what folks like to do here. I want to go where people are more efficient with their time and can cut to the chase. I want to prepare a meal for my family with ingredients like blueberries, portobello mushrooms, or salmon. I am so tired of apples and bananas and sorry, no mandarins this week or we don't know when we'll be getting grapes again. I want to binge on bing cherries, watermelon, peaches, kale, edamame, wild rice, turkey, tofu, sweet potatoes, Wisconsin cheddar, bagels, sour cream, raspberries, cream cheese, apricots, root beer, cottage cheese and so much more.

I want a reminder of all that I miss out on by living abroad. I hope it doesn't scare off my kids though. I know they will miss their home here in Senegal, their dad who won't be with us at the beginning, the staff that we see every day of the week, and Gusi will miss his friends. Still, I want a break; the heat is getting to me and flu pandemic or not, I want to go home and feel that I know how things are supposed to work. I want a break, even if it means giving up the comforts I've grown accostumed to in Senegal.

Need to Pay More Attention

When did that third tooth pop out? It's gotten out almost as much as the second one. Will keep an eye out for the fourth which is sure to come soon. Right?

It's Here!

The second tooth is finally here! I thought I felt it yesterday, but today I know it is definitely out. Also, today the baby took his first two crawling steps...does that make sense? Well, he crawled and then flopped on his belly and cried. The point is, he's moving around and is communicating more. I swear he can make the sign for "light" now, in a babbling sort of way, but I get it nonetheless. Brilliance, sheer brilliance.

Catch Up Time

Life has been hectic. So, here are the top ten things that have kept me from blogging for the last two months.

1. Gusi's birthday. Actually, birthdayS. He had two birthday parties, one at school and one at a park to celebrate with his non-school friends. The park party had a capoeira group, a pi~nata, pizza, appetizers, cake and party favors. The school party had the same thing minus the capoeira. I was bogged down but they both came off without a hitch.

2. My mom's "visit". For Christmas my husband asked me what we should get my mom. I said, a ticket back to Senegal! So we got her a ticket with frequent flyer miles and she was set to come for 10 days right around Gusi's birthday. Well, one week before her departure she was informed that after 15 years at the same company she was being laid off. We told her that she should stay with us as long as she could--she would get some rest and the children would be thrilled. So, she'll be here for a total of three months before going back to the US.

3. Lack of transport. We have one car and Papi has been super busy lately. Plus, my mom is here and she's delved right into Dakarois life. I find myself chauffeuring more than I ever thought possible. Now I get why mom's complain about carpooling.

4. Finding a new school for Gusi. His teacher will be leaving Dakar this summer, so I need to find a school for him. He got into several schools, but after observing some of the classes, I decided that I'm not entirely happy with any of them...not like I have been with his present school. I've put down deposits on two schools and will contemplate which is the best one over the summer.

5. Home search. We are going home for the summer and I've been busy looking for a place to plant our little bodies. Easier said than done. It will be expensive, so expensive that I keep rolling my eyes...the US is almost as expensive as Dakar!!!

6. Soccer. I mean football. Whatever. Gusi is big into his football classes. BIG into them. We go twice a week, but it has taken over our entire household. Cleats thrown in the corner, footballs all over the front porch, whistles being blown as Gusi pretends he's the coach. Football fever.

7. Teething. The baby is now teething. He gets himself all worked up and into a fit and finally calms himself down by knawing on his fingers. I've tried lots of tricks but it's just something he's going to have to get through. And yes, he's bitten me, and yes, it's happened while he was nursing, and yes, I yelled, and yes, I felt horribly guilty afterwards.

8. Papi's travels. I don't know if it's really so, but it feels like he's been traveling more and more lately. Of course, this throws Gusi off and he becomes more clingy and I just try to keep juggling our life.

9. Dinner dates. When our schedules permit, we like to get together with some friends of ours. They are a Kenyan-Swedish couple who love to eat out. The weird thing is that most of our friends don't go out for dinner that much. The ones without kids prefer to go dancing until the wee hours; but most with kids go out only occasionally. It's nice to chat with folks over a nice meal and a glass of wine.

10. Saying good-bye to friends. As is usual for this time of year, lots of folks are getting ready to move on to their next post. So, we're trying to figure out how to say good-bye--yet again. Gusi doesn't understand why one of his classmates is off to Bangladesh and another to Nigeria, but he just shrugs it off and goes with the flow. I suppose I should do the same.

NOLA on My Mind

I bought two t-shirts for Papi and I today from Dirty Coast. I actually got some of the rather tamer ones since no one in Dakar would get any of the good ones (actually neither would Papi--it's a New Orleans kinda thing). I got to their website because they were mentioned in the New York Times this week. Of course, it's the weekend before Mardi Gras so New Orleans is doing what it does best: party. I wish we were home, even if it is cold, even if it would be a hassle to drag the baby to the parade routes, even if we were jet-lagged. I wish we could be there.

So, as I was daydreaming about being there and checking out my friend's flickr photos, I came across this wonderful photo. The message may seem funny to most but it is oh-so-New-Orleans-at-her-best. Thanks to Shokufeh for the brilliant idea of capturing it so those of us living far away from home can enjoy the moment too.

I'm a Bad Mama Jama

Did I mention that the Carl Carlton song "She's a Bad Mama Jama" was playing when I was pushing the baby into the world? I had my iPod playlist for the baby going and sure enough this was the song that was on when he came into this world. I don't know why I was thinking of that today, but I was.

Oh wait! Now I remember...because yesterday the baby turned six months old. Incredible how time flies.

Living Room Scrum

We don't have NFL or NBA or MLB on our satellite channels, instead we get soccer, rugby and cricket games. Lots of soccer--or football as it is called everywhere else in the world--and rugby and cricket. Our satellite comes in from South Africa so that may have something to do with it.

In any case, yesterday as we were hanging out in the house, the baby was napping and Gusi and his father were watching rugby. How Papi knows anything about rugby is beyond me since he's always told me that he was never into sports as a kid. I don't really believe him. Papi explained just about every move the players were making on the field to Gusi; why they did this, why it was advantageous to do that, etc. Gusi obviously picked up some of the basics because ever since then he and his father will pretend play rugby in the living room. They toss a pretend ball, they kick it and they even manage to get into a scrum (which looks to me a like a huge pile-up of bodies). Gusi loves it and so does Papi.

Somehow I never imagined my kids would grow up knowing anything about rugby, but I revel in the fact that Gusi and his father love it so. The baby just sits on my lap for now and watches, but I'm sure that as soon as he can he will join in as well.

Two Helpings

Today we were a bit off schedule. Gusi woke up several times during the night and seeing how Papi is in Switzerland for a conference, I am flying solo with the sleepless nights. Of course, when Gusi woke up just before 5am he managed to wake the baby up as well. Sigh. Gusi is coming down with a cold--again--so he was coughing quite a bit as he came to bed with me. (He actually wanted me to sleep in bed with him but his twin vs. my king is no match.)

As it turned out, all three of us ended up sleeping "late". Gusi found a position that allowed him to breathe and the baby and I fell asleep as he nursed. Before I knew it 7am creeped up on us and we got our day off. Eventually lunch time rolled around and Gusi wasn't hungry (surprise) and the baby was. I prepared him some squash with rice cereal; it was the second day he was having it and today he liked it much better than yesterday because he gobbled it all up. As I signed "all done" to him he began to cry and whine. I asked and signed "more?" and he kept crying. So, I prepared another helping. He gobbled that one up too. Incredible. I'm sure he would have wanted a third helping but Gusi came into the kitchen like a whirlwind and distracted the baby enough that I was able to get him out of his chair and interested in some toys in the living room. Still, he is growing, and I swear that it is happening faster this time around. Is is possible that time is going by faster? That the rotation of the earth is somehow just a bit quicker? Whatever it is, my baby is leaving behind his "exclusively breastfed" days and happily entering the world of solids...soon he will be toddling alongside his big brother who will be bigger yet. Amazing.

Batter Batter Swing

The baby has figured it out. He knows where the milk comes from and when he doesn't get it fast enough he starts batting for it. For several days now he's started pulling at my shirt, or at my bra or batted his little arm at me to hurry up and serve him his meal. I can't help but laugh and tell him to calm down. Of course his motor skills will only improve and if memory serves me, Gusi would yank my shirt away or would throw his head back "into position" refusing to budge until served, so I expect something similar to happen with the baby.

As for Gusi, these days we are reading Beatrix Potter. I got the complete edition of her works for the boys. Tonight we read the Tale of Peter Rabbit and the Tale of Benjamin Bunny. Gusi just gobbled them up. They are the perfect combination of short prose and drawings. Of course, there was a bit of fascination with the scarecrow as well as with the naughtiness of the main characters. Why are they naughty Mami? Good question. Not quite sure how to answer why children are naughty or why people are bad. Maybe Beatrix's other tales will point me in the right direction.

Take It Down a Notch

I realize that we need to take it down a notch--the crib that is. The baby has learned how to roll as a means of transport. Up until now he's rolled but didn't realize he could get anywhere this way. Now he does. His crib has been at the very top level (there are three). Today I realize that I have a new project for Papi. Granted I could do it myself and have done it myself in the past when Gusi was in the crib...ok, maybe I should say that I have a family project that Papi needs to be present for...does that sound better? In any case, the baby is pushing up on his arms and I'm not sure when he'll be rocking on all fours trying to go somewhere. So, to avoid any mishaps--like the baby propelling himself out of the crib--we'll just lower the crib mattress one notch...just as soon as Papi gets home.

Getting Out More

We are starting to get out a bit more. We are able to in part because the baby is sleeping well and Gusi can be reasoned with to some extent about an adults-only night out, but mainly we are able to go out because we now have a nanny. Elisabeth, or as Gusi pronounces it Lee-za-bef, is very good with the boys, so good that she is able to put Gusi to bed. Well, actually, he convinces her to sit in the chair in his room until he falls asleep, but still, that's better than anyone else here has ever been able to do.

This past weekend we went out with our Kenyan-Swedish friends. She's from Kenya and he's from Sweden and their son is Gusi's good friend and us parents have become friends too. They know the city hot spots quite well, so we've been tagging along for a few weekends now to some of the chic restaurants around town. Of course, they complain that most of their friends with small children don't go out at all because they don't have the sense to get a nanny (these friends brought theirs from Tanzania where they were last living); now we know what they mean.

Aside from being able to enjoy a meal with our friends, the boys are doing great. Gusi is now signed up for a tumbling class and is doing really well. He doesn't want to try the cartwheel yet, but is excited about learning the forward and the backward rolls. The baby is now sitting up on his own. He wobbles a bit but he's essentially got it. He seems to be developing similarly to Gusi so I wonder if he'll be crawling around the same time as Gusi did. Time will tell.

In any case, Gusi and I are planning a winter vacation for next year. Here's our list so far:
1. Must have snow.
2. Must have hot chocolate with marshmallows.
3. Must make snow angels and snowmen.
4. Must wear mittens, scarf, hat and boots to stay warm.
5. Must have snowball fight.
6. Must have reindeer.
7. Must take sleigh ride.
8. Must have beauty salon and spa close by. (that one's mine)
9. Must sing Christmas carols.
10. Must include family.

Chomp Chomp

For about two weeks now the baby has been trying to snatch food and drink out of our mouths. Gusi has found it funny, but Papi and I have seen it as a sign: must feed baby solids. So, yesterday we started the baby on rice cereal. He's almost 5.5 months old and it just seems like the natural way things need to progress. (Solids can be started anywhere between 4 and 6 months depending on the baby.)

Yesterday the baby was all about eating breakfast with us though he was shocked that his cereal was COLD! It was cold because we have mice and EVERYTHING must be put in the freezer that isn't in a plastic box (including flour, rice, sugar, baking chocolate, etc). His rice cereal was in the freezer and my pumped breastmilk was in the fridge making for a cold first meal.

This morning I mixed the cereal and let it sit for a bit before giving it to him. He didn't seem all that interested today but he did eat a bit. He kept looking at Gusi's yogurt and Papi's Cheerios and giving me this look like I'm totally getting shortchanged here lady. Which he was, but we're doing baby steps right now. Soon he'll be gobbling up his breakfast like the rest of the family. Until then, it's about practicing moving food around in his mouth in hopes that it doesn't all dribble out of it.

Water Water Everywhere

You never know who's bathing who in our house. The baby starts beaming when you put him on the changing table and undress him--he knows what's next. Once in his little bath tub he is all smiles and kicks, kicks, kicks his legs like he's peddling away. The water gets everywhere.

Today Papi bathed the baby while I was finishing up baking some homemade chocolate chip cookies (very yum by the way, and so easy). When I went in to get the baby to nurse him, Papi was soaked, water was all over the floor and the baby just gave me this huge gummy smile that made me laugh. These are the moments that parenthood is all about.

And the Beat Goes On

Mom is back stateside and we are slowly recovering from the hole her absence has left. The good news though is that we found an organization that met mom's interests. Village Pilote works with street children (both Talibe and runaway kids) across Dakar and tries to give them a leg up in life. We are very happy with the work they do at their centers and in the juvenile detention centers.

It feels rather strange to not have the holidays looming any more, but now that school is back in session lots of birthdays are around the corner. That seems to be our main means of social activity lately--someone's birthday party. Mom and I are already talking about what to do for Gusi's birthday. How big? What kind of cake? Cupcakes in lieu of cake or as well as? Whatever it is, I'll have to have lots since Gusi will refuse all other foods that day.

So, back to normal is how it goes...and the beat goes on.

The New Year Promises Hope

It's amazing that the holidays have come and gone already. My mom is about to leave at the end of the week and we are trying to squeeze in all those things that we said we'd get to in good time. Of course, now is the time or else it doesn't get done.

One of those things is to find an organization that works with the Talibé to give a donation to. The entire story of the Talibé (Arab for student or disciple) is a long one but what it boils down to is that there are boys begging in the streets of Dakar. These boys are usually given to a religious leader, a marabout, by their parents for a free religious education. They are given away because their families cannot afford to feed them, because it was once considered a duty and an honor to have a son study with a marabout (back when actual learning took place), and because ignorance and poverty are the worst threats to childhood. So what happens is that these boys are told that begging for alms (alms is one of the pillars of Islam) will be a part of their studies; you see boys from 5 to 16 (?) begging for change all over town. If they fail to earn a certain amount each day (350CFA or 75¢ some say) to give to the marabout they are beaten or starved or worse. The older boys abuse the younger ones, stealing the money they've earned and sexual abuse is not unheard of in their "schools". I use quotes around "schools" since the boys don't really learn anything that they can turn into a profession--like literacy or arithmetic. It is an incredibly complex problem that faces Senegal, Mali, Guinea and Guinea-Bissau. Boys robbed of a future.

My mom has taken it upon herself to make sure that someone helping these boys receives a helping hand themselves during the holiday season. Her motivation is altruistic and contagious. So, tomorrow we will go see a center that helps get these boys off the streets. I'm not sure how they do it since the marabout don't easily let their boys go--even the runaways are tracked down and brought back. I'm curious to see how it is that this group has been operating given the cultural, political and economic complexities. I hope that we have a good experience because I so want to believe that this can change. I hope that 2009 brings lots of hope to an otherwise hopeless group of children.